– I think I’m lost.
– You didn’t give the itinerary to your cousin?
– As he’s new, maybe he’s got a bit disorientated.
– How many asiáticos has he drunk?
– He doesn’t drink!
– Lie!

– I’m thinking about buying a weekend in Camping Portus, as a gift for my Borja.
– But you’ve only known him a month, are you sure?
– He’s my soul mate.
– Do you like my Valentines Day present darling?
– I think we need to get to know each other a little better and cover up those breasts for God’s sake!

– Hello Amparo, How are you?
– Ay darling, I’m so stressed out with the sales. But where are you?
– I’m at home. I’m trying on clothes, and you?
– I’m in El Portús, I´m taking off!

– What can we do in Portus at Christmas time? Darling, there are lots of things to do! Climbing, rappelling, cave exploring… Trekking, mountain biking. But the thing I like most is canoeing. But it’s a pity, I’m left without a place.
– And how have you solved that?
– Well, I have Father Christmas to thank.

– Oh! It’s raining lots.
– We are in the middle of Autumn.
– So… now what?
– Well… Let’s have another swim!
– Yessss!

– So, are you going already Lourdes? But, your mother? Have you abandoned her? Remember the advert: She wouldn’t do it… Ha ha ha.
– Noo… She has abandoned us.
– Regardez mon estilo de petanca, garçons… (in French and Spanish: Look at my petanca style, guys!)
– ¡Lola! – ¡Lola! – ¡Lola!

– We are the census guards of Cartagonova, you are under arrest for lewd and immoral behaviour.
– Off to the lions!
– Nooo!
– To the lions nooo!
– Really? How about we go to the shade of the chiringuito instead, María Jesús?

– Mª Jesús, your omelettes are really great!
– What temperature do you cook them?
– Same as Arturo’s.
– He doesn´t recognized climate change.

– Yes Amparo, have been the whole day without seeing the sun, but Aurelio is going to fix it.
– How? Is he going to remove the clouds? Hahaha! No.
– Yes, I know this is a wonderful place and is a Paradise.
– But you are hiding the sun! Go to Cartagena, please!!! Do you understand?*

*In Spanglish in the original version.

– Play? I learnt last year, paddle surf is my thing!
– I’m leaving, I’ll say hi from the other shore.
– I insist, play?