— Alright, we’ve seen how tan you all got from your vacation. Now we know we have to give it our all for these Carthaginian and Roman festivals.
— Maria Jesús, I hope you nail your role as Himilce, ‘cause I can’t see you shaking off that Portús vibe.
— And how do you know I’m from Portús?
— Carthaginian intuition.

— I don’t believe in climate change. It’s made up.
— You’re not a flat-earther too, are you?
— Ugh, the amount of stuff NASA hides from us.
— Dad, come play in the sand with me.
— Let’s go!
— And now what do I do?
— You have to be quiet.
— Why?
— Because you’re a mountain, and mountains don’t talk.
— Oh, got it!

— Hi!
— Hi!
— This castle is so ugly. You can’t even see the princess or the knights.
— It’s not a castle. It’s a village…
— …a Palestinian village, with its white houses, happy people, and kids in the streets.
— Oh.
— Do you want me to help you build it?
— Sure.
— There is hope.

— Oh, sweetie. I’m in the hospital, but they treat me so well… The doctor is a gem, the nurses are wonderful, and the aides too… But the woman in the next bed…
— Hey, son, keep an eye on the house, it might get taken over by Moroccans. Or Blacks, the place is full of them.
— But Mom, you can’t just come to El Portús like that. They’ll be looking for you at the hospital.
— Mom, are you okay? For a moment it seemed like you were gone.
— I had gone to paradise.
— Heaven?
— No. El Portús.

— I love May. The sun’s starting to warm up, makes you wanna hit the beach.
— I can’t go, I’ve gained weight and got stretch marks, even.
— What you need is some nature therapy, feeling like you’re part of it all. Your fix is El Portús.
— El Portús?
— They seem happy. And you say it’s open all year round?
— Yep.

— Wow, the sandcastle is looking really nice!
— We can charge 10 cents for people to look at everyone in El Portús.
— What a go-getter!
— Today happens to be Entrepreneur Day. Come on, go get more buckets of water!
— Okay.
— But remember, today is also the Day against Child Exploitation!!

— March is awesome. We celebrate International Women’s Day…
— It’s Springtime
— And… It’s the month for the welcome offer at Camping El Portús.
— I’m off there!

···· And, finally, did you meet that handsome boy?
— Oh, yes, I invited him to the campsite, but I don’t think he understood me
— Wait, I have to repeat it again
— Naturist! Not naturalist!

— And El Portús, little niece, has its own weather station.
— How cool!
— It predicts the temperature, measures wind speed, humidity… And if it’s going to rain. Today, for instance, it won’t rain.
— Well, it got that wrong.
— It doesn’t predict what a seagull is going to do.

— And now, at Christmas, all that waste of lights and consumption. And meanwhile, the planet, with its global warming…
— …more droughts, fewer resources, and the North Pole melting.
— But Santa Claus lives there.
— Ahem. He used to live there!